8 years of the plague
the infection of hypocrisy and corruption found the new age
2nd month given in exchange for mid century of yesterday
this component equates to the 21st century slave
wait what did you say?
the 21st century slave

cuz you see,
no promise no guarantee to succeed,
but the possibility of equal opportunity
was enough.
because after all it wasn’t blatant
physicality,
but deep inside we all knew it was mental slavery.

but 9 over 11 plus 7 by 365
equals crossing the borderline.
the black blood of earth
divided by the red blood of man
equals priceless,
or at least that seems to be it’s worth
because 1000 piles of walking dirt
is easily sacrificed for 1000 lbs of liquid earth,
now it’s time for rebirth.

now it’s time for the constitution to be realized
instead of hypothesized
one figure stands out to epitomize
the concept of freedom and equal rights
to tear down segregation and give forum to unite
4 decades later the people once more cry
“free at last, free at last, thank God we are free at last!”

dry your eyes malcolm little and martin luther
times of change the divide is over.
we judged by content, not by colour
our song was sung to change the future,
finally heard it shines so brighter.
the people chose it’s representor….

the people chose barack obama

I have always known that I will never, ever be one of the millions of people who wake up one morning in their middle age, hating what they do, and filled with dread for what lies ahead. I will never reach that stage because my absolute terror of this happening will not allow it. As a child I vowed that I would not allow myself to reach my forties, even my thirties, and have to ask myself how I let my life wander so far off my chosen path. There is greatness ahead if only I persevere enough to achieve it. Yet, I feel staggered by what I have to overcome. Not just personal demons of clawing feelings of inadequacy and inevitable failure – but the outside force which is the tumultuous and strangling time I’ve grown into.

I know every single generation has been battered by the unique ailments of their day. Wars, economic crises, crippling diseases, political and civil injustice…our parents and grandparents and great grandparents have all lived through a struggle, and it would be naive and ignorant of me to cry about the world they have left for us. This cutting knowledge does not curb my anxiety about the way forward. This is a time of crushing uncertainty, and only the ingenious and extraordinarily determined will make it out with their heads high and their lives fulfilled. For those of us without that superhuman confidence in our certain greatness, fear of the future looms above like a smirking dragon.

Only the superrich or those with amazingly generous Mummies and Daddies can afford to purchase a home to call their own. The dream of comfortably starting a family at a young age has been severely limited. Scores of young people are returning home to Trinidad from the UK, Canada and the US, anxious to take up their position in the workplace…only to find themselves sitting at home slowly going stir crazy as they wait for a call for a job that doesn’t exist. The only comfort others can offer is to suck their tongue and facetiously lament about what a bitch this recession is. We are not the spoiled, lazy generation with the entitlement complex older heads may try to put on us. I read somewhere online that our generation (Gen Y) is characterized as “having too great expectations from the workplace and only desire to shape their jobs to fit their personal lives rather than adapt their lives to the workplace”. This is mind boggling to me – it makes it seem like not resigning ourselves to a sheep mentality is actually a bad thing. We want to work, crave the opportunity to put our hard earned degrees and, more importantly, our talents to the test and really make a difference. But we are slowly seeing our shiny dreams become cloudy and replaced with the muted reality that this may be what adulthood is actually about – lost hopes and dreams deferred.

Will we be the lost generation? I’m actually inspired to see that great optimism abounds in people I would have written off as some of the biggest naysayers I know. These are people who plan to go forward in a state of semi-blindness and grasp what they know is entitled to them. I guess it’s the sense of going against the grain that will get them – and us – through. That tendency to stubbornly prove everyone else wrong and live life on your own terms – regardless of the gloom and doom prophecies which attempt to spin their chains around us and bind us into ourselves. I think if you can name any great historical figure who achieved something extraordinary, there can be no doubt that he lived his life determined to write his own story and could not care to be deterred by the negative elements in his environment. I’m hoping we can overcome these scary times by dedicating ourselves to our goals with a consistency of purpose and an undying belief in ourselves. At the risk of going into full preacher mode – I passionately believe that nothing can be accomplished without confidence in our actions and our selves. We can give up on ourselves and succumb to a fate that involves becoming another indistinctive cog in society’s wheel. Or we can do something else.

excerpted from Business Focus Magazine

Issue No.03

In the face of rapid inflation plaguing Trinidad and Tobago, our economy seems to have mounted a defiant front, and is charging on hungrily. We have become focused on planting ourselves firmly on the global platform as a force to be reckoned with. It is no wonder then that the real estate market in Trinidad is thriving; it caters to our desire for enacting our status and putting forth a strong image. Never before have residential property costs been so high, yet there is a profusion of new buildings spurting up around the country. These buildings are replete with modern beauty and technological savvy, and are an illustration of the new face Trinidad is portraying. Prominent architectural design firm, Gillespie & Steel Limited is responsible for many of these innovative developments.

Colvin Chen, Technical Director of Gillespie & Steel, is unabashed in stating that rising inflation has an adverse impact on investment in the architectural field – and by extension real estate. “It’s very difficult to predetermine the cost of a building for a client,” he says. “With concrete and steel prices ever increasing at an abnormal rate, and the cost of labour increasing, it becomes difficult to maintain a fixed cost.” However, in Trinidad there seems to be a great need for building space, thus Chen and his associate Stephen Jameson see no end in the real estate boom – at least not immediately. “Inevitably there must be a limit,” Jameson muses. “Yet there is such a great need for real estate right now, both commercial and residential, that it will surely take many years to fulfil the demand”.

Gillespie & Steel have been in the market for over forty years, and presently boast a plethora of esteemed clients. From projects such as the Police Expansion Project, to working with clients such as RBTT, Algico, BPTT, BG, the University of the West Indies, and several Ministries of the Government of Trinidad and Tobago, the company has created full architecture and interior architecture for many iconic buildings which have revamped the image of many familiar local institutions and whetted this country’s appetite for creativity and progression. “More and more commercial clients want an image,” Chen says wryly. “Everyone wants an iconic building. However, we are very concerned with the functional and space planning aspects of a building”. Indeed, Gillespie & Steel emphasizes the creation of ergonomic spaces for workers, and is focally concerned with energy conservation and efficiency. This is achieved through a very analytic process, taking climatic factors into careful consideration. An atrium or outdoor pond is rarely a product of aesthetics, but a strategic tool employed in the harnessing of energy and enhancing the flow within a site. Chen adds, “A building must not just have an attractive façade, but must nurture sensitivity to the culture and climate of a place”.

Indeed, this innovative technical analysis of architecture signals a significant change from the planning and building ideals of old. As Mr. Chen reveals, building codes in Trinidad and Tobago are hopelessly outdated. However, more and more architectural firms have to be concerned with the strength and safety of buildings, and their function as it relates to location. Gillespie & Steel adheres to international earthquake codes in their construction. Chen laments on the failure to enact a long awaited national plan by the Town and Country Division to de-centralize the capital. “Buildings have sprouted up all willy-nilly in Port of Spain, with no real planning,” he declares. “Instead of spreading government centres around the country, they are making the capital mistake of bringing all these high rises to the city. Port of Spain has become strictly image centred, there is no function”. A city is not only buildings, but also spaces between buildings. It is the job, he says, of an architectural firm to work with and advise the client on the holistic functionality of the project.

It is this forward-minded focus which drives the avant-garde style of Gillespie & Steele (although Chen is quick to wince at that limited word “style”). There is a sense of pragmatism and adherence to surroundings with the work, which certainly colours the firm’s view on maintaining colonial architecture – a sensitive issue especially in the city and suburbs. “While I strongly feel that these buildings are to be maintained, we will not create a new structure in that style,” Jameson asserts. “That type of architecture reflects the time in which they were built. We create buildings which suit the conditions and needs of our time”. Yet, he deplores the haphazard demolition of these historic structures. “It is a sign of the poor planning on the part of the controlling agencies”, Chen adds. ‘There is no real control, no comprehensive direction”.

Indeed, with the climb of real estate on this island, architectural specialists are integral to the responsible and effective planning of building construction today. Both Chen and Jameson agree that currently the Caribbean is offering young people ample opportunity to grow and advance in the field. There have been recent initiatives by the Government of Trinidad and Tobago, such as the establishment of ten Government scholarships for study at the Caribbean School of Architecture in Jamaica. Gillespie & Steele itself offers internships to students of architecture. Although acknowledging the strides that are being taken, Chen bemoans “the complete shortage of building technicians in Trinidad”, pointing out the enormous amount of work to be done in that area, with regard to planning and building maintenance of building requirements. “Fundamentally,” Chen affirms, “developers and architects must be able to synthesize the branding and image wants of a client with the pragmatic need for function and efficiency of the building and its environment”.

excerpted from Business Focus Magazine

Issue No.02

She is a creator of visual masterpieces. Laura Ferreira relaxes on her couch, her face smiling and open, with eyes flicking continuously to her infant son Kaiden Lee, who is playing nearby. This 23 year old young woman has become one of Trinidad and Tobago’s premiere photographers in such a rapid space of time that even she admits it’s mind boggling. It was barely a little over a year and a half ago that Ferreira decided she needed to strike out on her own and leave the corporate world to pursue her own ambitions. She did something so many are afraid to do – and it has paid off with incredible results. Today, Laura Ferreira is a brand within herself, with a photography style so breathtakingly ethereal that it defines the meaning of photography as art. Through her savvy grasp of viral marketing, her work is internationally lauded, and her business has expanded leaps and bounds further than she could have ever imagined.

For the former graphic designer, delving into her own business was a natural step. “I never could see myself in an office job,” Ferreira laughs. “I’ve always been a creative person – always felt the need to express myself artistically”. Towards the end of her pregnancy with now fifteen month old Kaiden, Laura picked up photography as a hobby to ward off boredom. She began experimenting with self portraits on a simple point-and-shoot camera (a Canon A620) which led to shooting one of her friends for next to nothing. The turning point was uploading the pictures to global social networking site, Facebook, as well as deviantArt.com. The exposure she received was immediate and forceful. Ferreira began receiving requests for commissioned shoots – from portraits for families and business people, to commercial jobs. To date, her work has appeared in regional magazines such as Caribbean Belle and Scorch Magazine and she has shot local soca stars Patrice Roberts and the HD Crew.

Ferreira’s photography stands in stark contrast to anything else the Caribbean has seen. Her work is heavily inspired by fantasy and surrealism, and her recent photographs exude a potent sentiment of the surrealist movement master Salvador Dalí. “Although my first pictures were pretty basic, there was a natural evolution into a more surreal element,” Ferreira explains. “Tim Burton (award-winning gothic film director) is a major inspiration, and that dark component really comes through in my photography”. From beautiful pictures of fairies frolicking in candy-colored meadows with splashes of heavenly hues, to eerie portraits of demonic baseball players and models in graveyards, none of Ferreira’s work repeats itself. It is all so unique, and unquestionably breathtaking –made more impressive by the fact that Laura has taught herself everything she knows, from experimenting with the camera, to mastering Corel Draw and PhotoShop. “I don’t believe in graphics courses!” she adamantly declares. “You shouldn’t have to spend so much money to learn something basic. I dedicated myself to understanding the programs and I wasn’t afraid to play around with them”.

Ferreira’s rise has not been without its trials. Aside from the obvious challenge of being a young mother, Laura has had to come to terms quickly with reconciling her creative nature with the demands of her business clients. She must bite her tongue during more prosaic shoots to deliver exactly what the client wants. Yet, her greatest challenge in starting her own company was that she really didn’t have a clue about the logistics of business. “It was definitely all trial and error,” Laura grins. “In school I was all about art and nothing else appealed to me. I’ve really had to learn to be more assertive with clients and learn about business hands on”. Ferreira has learned the hard way about being firm regarding payment for her work. “When I first started, there were so many people who would demand discounts, and some just refused to pay me after I did work for them,” she reflects. “I had to learn how to just say no”. Now, Laura must say no at times to the constant stream of job requests. Her workload is so hectic that she half jokes that sometimes she misses the structure of an office job. When she is not in front of the camera, she is behind her computer, making her pictures into works of art. “I never leave work!” she asserts. “And it’s a one-man job so I have to be extremely disciplined and organized, and keep on top of everything, regardless of how hectic it gets.” She follows this with a smile. “But there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. There’s always a price for success!”

Possibly as a result of her self-training, many have commented on Ferreira’s work as being of an “international standard” – a statement Laura has some ambivalence towards. “Why can’t local work look ‘international’?” she questions earnestly. “Everything I do comes from my head – I’m just not afraid to put it out there. Caribbean people need to stop being afraid to branch out – we must open our minds”. Ferreira credits learning on her own with giving her such a unique and distinct edge, and encourages others to do the same. As a true innovator in the local photography field, she happily asserts that she has no immediate plans to leave her home country. Her photography is all set against local backdrops, from Fort George to the fishing villages of Carenage - made practically unrecognizable by the magic touch of her Wacon Tablet. She has also noticed the recent proliferation of websites featuring the work of local artists. While lauding this new interest in the arts, she urges new photographers to really take the time to learn their craft, especially PhotoShop, inside out. “Don’t copy any one else’s style!” she appeals. “Make sure your work is really polished before you showcase it”.

In an island where social encouragement for the arts is lackluster, and art itself is hardly regarded as “real business”, Laura Ferreira is the quintessential study in following your dreams and working hard to achieve success. She advises other young entrepreneurs to hone their ideas, and not to be afraid of being different. She is a driven, passionate woman who is not without her moments of discouragement. Emails come in from as far as Hong Kong and Dubai from people who have been inspired after seeing her work on the internet, yet it is the support of her family and friends, especially her boyfriend Kristian that keeps her motivated. Business is demanding, yet this is her calling. She sums it up perfectly when she says,” If you’re good at what you do, you have to go for it!”

Here are some more samples of her work. (You can also go to her website which will be prominently displayed on our Recommended Links Section!)

1.30pm- meeting with Petrotrin project managers to prepare for a teleconference with a foreign contractor.

As I sat there sipping on a Coke barely listening to these adults squabble over an issue as extraneous as the ice caps melting, my mind wandered through glorious memories of university days. The night before a Philosophy examination, my cohort and I spent hours preparing for that tedious test. Darkness faded to make room for the blinding daylight and we found ourselves out my front door blazing a couple cigarettes in a sub-temperate climate continuing our discussion about how people take so many things for granted without ever putting forth any rational consideration. The issue, at that moment, lingered around a simple phrase: the rising sun. We both knew that the sun does not in fact rise; rather the rotation of the world causes the illusion of the sun rising from the East.

Language is the cause of many misconceptions we hold. A mere thousand years ago, English was created from Germanic dialects to form what was once Old English. Yet still the world has created a common foundation to stand upon, and it is now perhaps the most commonly spoken language on the face of this earth.

My memory prevents the source, but I once came across an illustration in which a priest was reviewing some historical texts and gasped at what was perceived as being a misconception- the simple difference, the ‘what if’ of ‘celibate’ and ‘celebrate’. What if priests were supposed to ‘celebrate’ and not ‘be celibate’?

The Aptitude of Tranquillity
1. French Connection United Kingdom religion

Most religious texts today have English translations. Many believe that Adam and Eve were cast out of Paradise for failing to abide by the law. Hell, I wish I could cast people out of this world for breaking laws. And many believe that the two aforementioned were the first human beings on earth and therefore the parents of the world. So they had some kids and then what? And then the kids screwed their mom. Ever thought about that? THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU BELIEVE THAT NONSENSE? Every religion that idolizes that story of creation therefore advocates what we term ‘incest’.

Furthermore, the Bible strings this six-day creation of the world in which the Almighty develops the universe, the seas, plants, animals and human beings. Scientific evidence has proven the existence of dinosaurs. Somewhere in the creation story, animals and man were created a day apart or something like that. So, could anyone provide a theory for man surviving the wrath of all-those-sauruses? I mentioned that in a Theology class at SJU and was rebuffed by the professor stating that a ‘day’ for God isn’t necessarily twenty-four hours. If that were the case, that would fortify my notion that people take things for granted. How long is a day?

Ever realized that all the worldly strife has religion behind it? The days of Jesus, the dominance of the Romans, the Holocaust, the abuse of the Middle East etcetera.

Quite frequently, I hear people talking about superstitions. Once again, as my memory fails, someone once told me that superstitions get strength from peoples’ belief in them. The more you believe in nonsense, the more realistic that nonsense will become.

3.30pm- packed away my laptop and headed to the door, leaving the project managers squabbling over the same issue

The meeting had not ended, but Champions’ League football was about to start (or so I thought).

The Aptitude of Tranquillity
2. Channel your emotions

In high school, I felt repressed by sometimes demanding parents that were not satisfied with my low grades in school. This was not helped by my straight As’ sisters who constantly outshone me when it came to academics. In order to prevent frustration developing, I stuck around in school on afternoons to play basketball with schoolmates and other random strangers who visited Presentation College after school for a ‘sweat’. It’s surprising now to look at youths and wonder what could really be causing frustration and anger. Life is so ridiculously easy! Everything is laid down for you and all that needs to be done is to locate a decent pathway! That’s one of the fuels of my interest in law- everything is already written down!

I knew then that if I stayed in school late, played basketball, exhausted myself, went home and slept, I wouldn’t be in my parents’ face for them to get upset! And in the process, I developed quite a talent for the game and by my last year in high school, playing basketball became an exhilarating experience.

The Aptitude of Tranquillity
3. There is always a door out

Although I never took part in any competitive football, it was the first sport I started playing. From that developed my interest in the game and my undying love and support for Manchester United over the last twelve years.

Hence the reason I left the meeting early and headed home, hoping to evade traffic. Of course our lovely Water And Sewerage Authority idiots decided that three in the afternoon was a good time to excavate the already bad road, which obviously created complete chaos. My eyes drifted to the right and realized that cars were still passing me on the right and going along their merry way. I followed suit and got home, paying close attention to a bright orange car that had been two cars ahead of me, and as I passed the cause of the congestion, was still sitting there.

The Aptitude of Tranquillity
4. When you’re right, shut your mouth. When you’re wrong, open your ears.

It is as basic as that. Think of yourself as nothing, as no one, and listen to what everyone else says. Donald Trump, in speaking about his father in his book How To Get Rich, mentioned that his father once stated that in learning ONE new thing, he realized how much he did not know. People are not inherently bad. People will not give you instructions to build a bomb that will detonate in your face. Forget what you’ve learnt, and what you think you know. Think about The Da Vinci Code. You never thought Jesus could have had children, did you? Think about what was The World Trade Centre. Never thought it would come down, did you?

As I opened the door and put on the television, I was surprised to see that seventy minutes of the football game had already gone. I thought the game was starting at 3.45pm, but since the game was being played in Italy, I was supposed to deduct another hour from the scheduled television kick-off time. I was blatantly wrong, a simple error, so I sat down and listened. As soon as the game finished on one channel, it was replayed on another channel. And thus I witnessed the Red Devils demolish the Roman Empire. Just wait till they come to Old Trafford next Wednesday. I’ll be there at 3.45pm. We put seven goals on them last season. I say eight this time around.

The Aptitude of Tranquillity
5. Strive towards autonomy

It is truly a thrilling feeling to be entirely independent. I’ve seen friends be dominated by girlfriends/ boyfriends and wives/ husbands, parents and siblings. When you’ve got your own place, your own food, your own money and your own car, you have your own life. No, I’m not saying be a hermit. You will realize that when you call all the shots in your life and nobody tells you what to do, how much calmer life becomes. You make all the decisions. You decide how much time and consideration has to go into saving, spending and allocating resources towards anything in your life. You will also realize that stress in life comes from someone else.

As Manchester United dominated their away leg, I sit here anxiously awaiting the roar of the Old Trafford faithful next week. In the meantime, I’m constantly opening doors, toying with beliefs, questioning the unquestionable, conceiving new possibilities, and exploring the pathways that have already been set down. Why worry? As the Barenaked Ladies once said, it’s all been done before!

In recent months T&T has entered the generation of broadband internet for the mass market. I am not sure of the numbers or the distribution but I am pretty sure that in months/years to come we would be in the midst of our own little technological revolution. A lot of T&T related sites - like this one - are popping up everyday as a testament to the increasing audience. In this short post I want to show how a potential time waster could turn out to be a savior for some of our youth.

I myself fall victim to the facebook vacuum when I get bombarded by emails telling me who poked, super-poked, messaged, added, tagged and left messages on my wall. I am not going to knock people, like myself, who find some joy in the social aspect of the web. But as we all know, the web and computers are incredibly effective learning tools and we should begin taking advantage of them from that perspective.

People cry about the education system in T&T and lament about its ineffectiveness and to those points I totally agree. Our education system needs a lot of work. However, while we protest and lobby for these changes we can help ourselves. It was not until I heard Richard Feynman in an interview that I realized what education should mean to me. Richard is world renowned physicist and Nobel Prize winner (for quantum electrodynamics) who, at a very young age developed an intense curiosity about the world and how things work. I think his success is mainly due to his interest to go beyond the classroom and actively pursue things that interested him.

With that in mind, I am giving you a window into the non-elite world of online crusaders called autodidacts. The sites listed below are your portal into any subject field your heart desires.

DISCLAIMER: There will be no pieces of paper/certificates describing your self-worth after reading these online materials and taking these FREE online courses (courses that usually cost upwards of TT$ 500,000). You may however, become an expert in many fields.

Techology

• Ted - definitely my favorite
• Google Tech Talks
• Fora Tv
• Google Code University

Free University Courses… and some other stuff

• MIT OpenCourseWare
• Stanford on iTunes aka Stanford to go…
• University of California OpenCourseWare
• University of Southern Queensland OpenCourseWare
• TUFTS OpenCourseWare
• Utah State OpenCourseWare
• McGill Cool
• Open Course Ware Consortium
• Open Culture
• Free Online Education
• Free Online Education
• Free Science Online
• Small Business Development Center
• Berkeley Webcasts & Courses
• Open Learning Initiative
• Open Learn
• Some videos of Richard Feynman

News for Tech Nerds like me…

• Digg
• Reddit
• Slashdot

Other stuff

• Zen Habits
• Mango Languages - Learn up to 12 Languages
• Fix it Club
• How Stuff Works
• Documentaries Online
• 101 Best Books - the perfect library

I challenge you all to pick up something you always wanted to do, or to try something new. In addition to that, this list could grow with your help. If there are sites that you frequent for educational purposes feel free to leave it in the comments or send it to me otherwise so that I can add it in.

Matthew

“While it is true that we, as a nation, are endowed with enormous financial capital we cannot make the same claim for our social and cultural capital”
- Dr. Selwyn R. Cudjoe.

Have you heard about the Gingerbread house? A few months ago, neither had I. The latest fiery debate on our shores centers on the Boissiere House at 12 Queen’s Park West, famously known as the Gingerbread House. Apparently the quaint (though rickety) testament to Victorian architecture has been listed for sale on craigslist.com for an asking price of US $10 million (TT $63 million). As soon as the news surfaced, the uproar was deafening. We selling out our culture, they said, we’re selling our sense of self! At that price it’s clear that unless the government steps in, that house will be torn down to make way for another imposing glass and steel corporate office. Are we hurtling full steam ahead to Vision 20/20 without sparing the time to preserve anything for the future? To a generation where the cultural identity of this country has become grey matter, is anything even worth saving?

For years I drove around the Savannah on my way to school, totally oblivious to the crumbling remnants of our history which loomed sadly on the sidelines. The only buildings which got a second glance were the Magnificent Seven, and this was more for the state of decay these once majestic structures had succumbed to than any particular aesthetic effect or historical eminence. It never struck me that these buildings had the story of our country sunken deep into their walls. I’m not sure at what point I began to appreciate the intricacy of the architecture – or saw beyond the worn plaster and corroding mortar. Since I was small I was conditioned to think anything old was worthless. We were a progressive country, and should strive to be as modern and advanced as those foreign cities we gazed at on television. Onward ever, backward never! Right?

Proponents for preservation of the house cite a dire need to conserve our historic and artistic treasures, which the Gingerbread House embodies. Interestingly, it’s not only the older traditionalists who are decrying the sale of the Gingerbread House. Many younger people have lent their voice to the fray, such as Nicholas Laughlin, who is actively working to build public support against the sale of the house to anyone with designs on demolishing it. This is an increasingly socially conscious Guevara-influenced generation, one which takes an active stand (gasp!) against corporate ills. Yet there are may others who steups and mutter about sentimental fools who are quick to protest and are ignorant about the boost to the economy getting rid of a ramshackle old Victorian house will provide. This is the problem with a society going forward and shaking off the ties of a colonial past. What will we do with the building? Use it as a museum to display the Eric Williams Collection, as Erica Williams-Connell endorses? The issue of preservation brings our culture into query…what does it really mean to us? What can we really claim to be our own – and do we really want to hold on to artifacts which remind us of a past when we did not belong to ourselves…buildings built on the backs of slaves?

Indeed, many things come into question, and I can’t say who’s right or wrong. The fact remains that in the here and now, we are in danger of losing buildings which speak of our history in all its bittersweet glory. Our surroundings no longer tell rich stories, but have become bland and expressionless – illustrating a culture and people sinking into transience. Preservationists are appealing to the National Trust of Trinidad and Tobago to enforce legislation which will see the Boissiere House being listed as a “property of interest”. Regardless of my thoughts on colonialism I see this as an imperative move. We are embarrassingly behind other islands such as Jamaica and Barbados in establishing Government protection for properties of historical importance, and even now legislation seems to be hopelessly tied up in bureaucracy. Incredibly, not one property - not even the National Red House! - is listed as a protected property.

The Elliott family which now privately owns the house has spoken of their regret at having to let go of the house. Yet, the system has let them down with regard to public aid to prevent the physical deterioration of the property. It seems we only care about our “national treasures” when the ugly reality of a white-washed, faceless six-storey edifice slaps us in our faces. We can actually do something about it though. If you feel strongly about preserving our national heritage express your thoughts in letters to the editor – better yet write to your local government representative or the President himself. Don’t give into the laziness in you that’s telling you it won’t make a difference. Nicholas Laughlin has established a website, www.caribbeanfreeradio.com/boisseire where you can sign the petition to enforce protective legislation. This petition is directed to the Prime Minster. There are voices on that site which express a lot better than I can how important this house is – architecturally, artistically, historically – to so many people and to our country.

Sources:

Caribbean Free Radio
TriniCenter
Newsday

So, as with all other months past, I ventured to Hi-Lo to buy groceries…

I buy groceries for me and me alone; Nemo does not eat crix and vienna sausage and ting… ME ALONE!

Before I went to the grocery, I made a list…I decided that I was sticking to the list so that I can maintain a decent grocery bill and that the extras weren’t necessary. These days, I look at them more as “treats” and “special items”…

Due to the high costs of meat, and since it is also Lent; I have decided that I’m cutting out meat in my diet… Soya and seafood right through…I didn’t need any soya cuz I still had in a pack that I bought form PriceSmart (and yuh know PM sells their goods in BULK)… anyhoos I digress…

So NO meat… therefore my bill should be even MORE decent right???

Instead of saying I want eggs, I have a half dozen left in the fridge already, so I don’t NEED eggs…

Instead of saying I want flour, I have some remnants of flour in the fridge too, so I don’t NEED it, I will make do…

I have rice already… thanks PriceSmart… so I won’t need it in a while anyway…

Well I use veggies a lot, so I really do NEED some…good, some sweet peppers and carrots if you please… Cauliflower you say??? I pass it straight when I see the price…

I have garlic, I don’t NEED any more cloves… I have ketchup, I WILL MAKE IT LAST EVEN LONGER!

I bought yeast…you know why? So I can make homemade pizza and bread…with the cost of a Kiss loaf at $8.00 now… the same pack of flour at $8.00 will last longer (maybe that’s why I still have in my fridge)

Toothbrushes, soap, Breeze, bleach, salt… you know the BASICS…I NEEDED those, so in the trolley they went…

I drink a lot of water, so in goes an 8-gallon bottle of blue waters… I like juice… in goes FOUR cans of Trinidad Juice juices…

No Coke, Sprite, Cranberry juice (which I love)… I will make do with my water and juice I have to mix…

Then I reach the cold section…
And of course, as is the norm in Hi-Lo now, NO REGULAR RAT CHEESE… yuh know…the one wrapped up in the cellophane… I eh shame, I does buy it, it relatively cheaper than the “fancy shmancy” brands right?

But I NEED cheese… what else with Crix, and who eats cheese-less homemade pizza? So I look at the options…Veggie cheese? NOPE…

A SMALL PACK (and I mean SMALL) OF ANCHOR CHEDDAR CHEESE IS >$30.00 TT, AND THE LARGER RECTANGULAR BLOCK IS >$70.00 TT…

WTF?!

But I NEED it… so I settle for the smallest pack available… before even looking at the Edam and Gouda to see if I could buy those instead but the prices caused me to temporarily get deaf (don’t ask about my body’s response, but I swear I wasn’t hearing the other people in the grocery).

So, I place it in the trolley… and proceed, with a heavy heart to the cashier…

It’s my turn to cash now, and as the cashier swipes each item, I scrutinise the display screen, making sure there are no double entries, and to monitor the progress of the tally… with a heavy heart

What is my total… for groceries for a month, for ME ALONE, NO MEAT, just the BASICS, no TREATS, no SNACKS, what I NEEDED… Total = $560.00TT

I will make sure that all meh tings last thru the month, but I ask myself when I’m carrying my groceries back to the car (YES, I CARRIED ALL THE BAGS BY MYSELF, CUZ I WAS ABLE, CUZ THAT TELLS YOU THAT THERE WEREN’T MANY BAGS WERE THERE?)…what about the people who do not have stable jobs? Or who eke out a living to live, WHO HAVE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!

What am I really working for? To live paycheck to paycheck? To constantly mind my items when I’m at the grocery? To wonder all the time if it will get better? And even if I do get a bazillion-dollar paying job… WOULD I SEE IT AS OK NOW FOR ME TO PAY AN ARM, LEG, NECK AND BIG TOE FOR A MEASLY BLOCK OF CHEESE??? No I think not…

Imagine others in this so-called oil-rich country… If we so rich, and things so nice, how come is always a ketch-ass? I am fortunate to have a relatively well-paying job, but… my living expenses are horrendous!!!!! And it seems that this trend will continue!!!!

So I have decided that I will buy 2 cows and 10 chickens, make my own cheese, mind the chickens and, and continue to go up to Las Cuevas to buy fish DIRECTLY form the fisherman, plant a kitchen garden, and possibly make my own soap…

NOTE - NO COWS, CHEESE OR CHICKENS WERE HARMED DURING THE WRITING OF THIS PIECE…

Was your Carnival everything you hoped it would be? For the past four years I’ve been stuck in the cold, lamenting the fact that while I was suffering from nosebleeds and chapped fingers my countrymen were in the blazing sun, reveling in the glee of not having a care in the world – if only for a few days. Last year while listening to Red967fm online from my computer at work I dug my fingernails as hard as I could into the palm of my hand to stop myself from crying. I’ll never forget how desperate I felt being twenty-five hundred miles away from home – already fighting the throes of winter depression! – and hearing my people crystal clear on the airwaves singing in unison, “we rea-dayyy, we rea-dayyy…!” to Machel’s Jumbie. It was so clear to me then that Trinidad was where I belonged, and come hell or high water I would be home for Carnival 2008!

So a lot of my friends were surprised, shocked, and even angry when I did the unthinkable – sold my costume and flew north, right back into the cold I detest. A lot of people escaped to Tobago or Barbados and it’s been highly debated what was off about Carnival this year – many blame the short season, others the lackluster soca. Fundamentally, I have to admit to myself – I just missed New York. Just like during school days when I would scoff at people sagely advising me to slow down and enjoy it – I’d yearn for it when it was over – I look back at my time in New York now and scratch my head at all the complaining I did, all the opportunities I missed. I spent so much time holding on to home I wasn’t able to appreciate the experience for what it was.

I have gotten off the plane and raced to beat the crowd at immigration in JFK countless times. But knowing that I’m not bound to stay brings up this crazy feeling – it almost feels like I’m home again. I’m here to surprise my boyfriend, and two of my best friends who live with him are in on the conspiracy. As I exit the taxi it’s into Rianna’s arms, who’s jumping around and shrieking excitedly in her pajamas, oblivious to the cold. And when I step into the apartment and throw off my jacket it’s like I never left. At the end of my stay when it’s time to get on the plane which will bring me back to Trinidad, there is not a trace of the electric excitement I used to feel when I was coming home for holidays. Home is where the heart is, and right now New York holds some of the people I love the most. I fall back into the New York lifestyle as easily as if I’ve awoken from a dream.

While thousands of Trinis and other fun-seekers converged in my country having a ball bidding farewell to the flesh, I was experiencing totally different landmarks in time. On Carnival Sunday a friend texted me from Maracas saying he knew I wished I was there on the beach instead on if in the cold. Ironically, I was on a beach too – as I walked towards the dazzling seashore in Atlantic City with my friends behind me and the cold, salty breeze stinging my cheeks, I felt like I was existing on a flipside of the same coin. Later that night the New York Giants football team crushed the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, a historic event which brought thousands out to the street in a near Carnival-like frenzy. Most importantly for me, I was there for Super Tuesday, when my boy Barack Obama engaged in a grueling and nail bitingly close battle for Democratic delegate votes against his political nemesis, Senator Hilary Clinton in twenty two states. It was so surreal to think my friends at home were wukkin up with reckless abandon on Ariapita Avenue while I was a world away. This made me realize that we live so much more richly when we can open up to what’s outside our box.

There’s always been a sense of confusion when I think of New York and Trinidad. Many Trinis living abroad can feel me on the whole double-life existence – the alternate worlds. You live, work, love in an adopted country, then return for a few weeks or months to Trinidad where it seems life is almost as you left it last. Which life is real? Feeling like you’re torn between two places makes you feel almost like you have half an identity – different friends, different lifestyles in the respective places – are you really a complete person in both worlds? Spending Carnival in New York was seriously like stepping into an alternate universe, but when I touched down in Piarco I snapped back to reality. For now, heart and home may be existing separately – this is true for most of us. A wise man once told me that as we’re working to put things in place to unite the two, we shouldn’t downgrade the experience of one while it remains exclusive of the other. It’s important to realize that experiences are what we make them. Life is what you make it. So for those of you who will miss yet another Carnival next year…make the best of it! You’re never too far away from home. And if you’re going to be on the road for sure next year – I’ll see you there ☺